By Dan Mecca
Upping the adrenaline-fueled ante of its cult-hit predecessor,Crank: High Voltage wastes little time early on setting up anything like plot or conflict, focusing more on the blood, bullets and octane of Jason Statham, who returns as the unstoppably awesome and improbably tough Chev Chelios.
The film is directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, a pair of young creative minds with the attention span of a 12-year old, Moutain Dew-addicted gamer. And it makes sense, because, after all, this thing is essentially the Grand Theft Auto free play mode released at feature length to silver screens.
Any ridiculous moment from the first Crank, and there are many, is topped in this sequel.
Take the scene in the first Crank in which Amy Smart’s Eve has sex with Chelios in the middle of Chinatown. Now multiply that in gratuity by about 10 and on-screen length by about 5 and you have an idea of what that same scene looks in High Voltage. Oh, and it doesn’t take place in Chinatown this time around, but rather in a horse race track while a race is going on.
The premise of the film is as simple – Chelios, after falling from a helicopter, survives and is re-kidnapped by Asians who take his heart and replace it with a battery which must be recharged nearly consistently. After Chelios escapes he must retrieve said heart while not losing the battery power. And there’s 90 minutes at the movies. Why did said Asians not simply kill Chelios? Stupid question to ask, but you get an answer – “they wanted to watch you die.” Whatever. Sounds good.
Obviously, the best scenes of the film consist of Chelios’ attempts to recharge his battery heart. This film plays these moments even more for laughs than they did in the first film, and it’s nice to see Statham crack a joke without having to kick someone’s ass to do so, even though most of his lines occur during such moments. Say what you will about The Statham’s acting chops (and see The Bank Job because he ain’t bad), the man certainly has natural charisma and it shows through here more than it ever has since Snatch..
The best part about High Voltage is that it knows what it is, which is, ironically, the same reason 17 Again fared so well. Neveldine/Taylor (as they so cleverly credit themselves) know how to make movies and they know how to make em cheap-the first Crank cost 12 million to make and the sequel cost a reported 20 million. This virtually guarantees that the films’ will be a success, and, despite the sequel’s lackluster opening weekend, I would not be surprised if there was a third film, which this one sets up for (in a rather lazy fashion, it must be said).
These films are fast paced and completely buttered in style – and it works thanks to Statham’s leading action star capabilities, which he puts to full use here. It also helps that the directing-duo show no less than 20 pairs of breasts, courtesy of extremely young and extremely well-proportioned women, throughout the film. The men clearly know their audience, i.e. not women. This would also explain the extremely abrasive violence, which becomes Saw-like at times. An unnecessary additive to be sure, and one of the biggest reasons this is a slighty-lesser sequel, despite the increased intensity.
The screenplay, written by Neveldine/Taylor, is simple and silly and not very important. I’ve forgotten nearly everything that was said, save the moment when Dwight Yoakam’s Doc Miles says, and I quote: “Is Doc Miles gonna have to choke a bitch?” And that’s not even an original line. I wonder if Wayne Brady will sue?
But that line is essentially the entire film verbalized. And if one goes into the theater expecting that, it will be a good time to be had for sure. Statham is a star who makes cheaper movies that not enough people see, so enjoy his reckless career choices now before he makes it big (if he ever makes it big, the guy’s been around for a while).
And for all of you boys circa-15 years old/college kids not ready togrow up, Amy Smart is really hot in this film, much like she always is, and she shows a whole lotta skin.Neveldine/Taylor make sure of it and I’m sure Statham did not mind.
7.5 out of 10
What did you think? Did you see Crank: High Voltage? What’s your opinion of Statham?