Screen Gems | USA | 88 min
Straight to the point, Nimrod Antal’s Armored is exactly what you’d expect from its trailer and synopsis: a heist movie about a group of armored truck drivers who rob their own armored truck, until things go array. And do they ever. Unfortunately, no viewer will care enough about any one of the characters in this small-minded waste of time to be effected by any of the wrong turns said characters (and filmmakers) take throughout.
Granted, a film about armored truck drivers is something this reviewer has never seen, so there’s some originality there. But that’s where it stops. Despite featuring a respective group of character actors (Matt Dillon, Laurence Fishburne, Jean Reno, Stephen Dorff, Skeet Ulrich), the film lacks both creativity and a strong leading man (Columbus Short tries but has nothing to do and does not seem to know how to do it).
Antal has made a name for himself, first overseas with the brilliant Kontroll then stateside with the well-received Vacancy. This time around his film will fall on deaf ears, both critically and publicly. There’s no reason for this movie to exist – it’s a heist movie with “all good guys,” something Dillon’s Mike refers states more than once (which is too much – it’s nice line but not that nice). That being said, all of the “good guys” in question turn out to be pretty bad people, save Short’s Ty, who gets into the armored truck heist to support himself and his younger brother, who live alone after their parents’ death. After turning down Mike’s sell to rob the truck, Ty returns home and is welcomed by a woman from Child Services here to evaluate if Michael’s brother may need foster care. How timely!
The entire script, written by James V. Simpson, is just as staged as this scene. Things happen that we expect to happen, but the people in the movie apparently did not (this surprise is increased by the annoyingly generic, industrial score which booms so loudly that it suggests a sound editor hired to distract viewers from a poorly-made movie).
Antal can, and has, done better – but then he also had better material to work with. He has also never had to rely more on his actors, all of whom disappoint here. It’s what happens when a bunch of character actors star in a film, not anchored by one leading/movie star. Say what you will about the Brad Pitts, Tom Cruises and George Clooneys of the world, but they can carry films, good and bad. Armored needed this kind of support, and Columbus Short is not up to the challenge (hopefully one day he will be).
The highest praise available for an unnecessary film like this is that it will not (and cannot) offend anyone.
3 out of 10
Did you see this film? What did you think of it?