NOTE: Massive spoilers below.
For a film that is one single entire ridiculous moment one may say it is difficult to pinpoint specific favorites. Well, here at The Film Stage we attempt to do just that. These include specific scenes, broader categories, and entire performances. Check out the list below.
10. Woody Harrelson
Woody Harrelson has had quite a year, ranging from his quirky crowd-pleasing role in Zombieland to his award-worthy performance in The Messenger to his indie spotlight in Defendor. Then there is 2012. Harrelson does a delightful job of schlocking it up as a conspiracy theorist that lives in a RV camper turned-radio station in Yellowstone National Park. He is one of the few characters that knows exactly what kind of movie he is in as he recites classics such as, “download my blog!”
9. Cracks of Perfection
It’s not enough to just blow up the world; Roland Emmerich must do it with precision. Early in the film massive cracks appear in the San Andreas Fault right underneath a supermarket where Amanda Peet and her new boyfriend, played by Tom McCarthy, are shopping. McCarthy says, “Honey, I feel like there is something pulling us apart,” and moments later the cracks rip in between them. If you think that takes the cake, later in the film a crack rips directly through Adam and God’s extended fingers in Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel painting.
8. Plot Holes Galore
One may think Star Trek has little similarities with 2012 but during a latter scene where John Cusack’s group crash lands and are within walking distance of a group of Tibetan characters is eerily similar to a meet-up between Captain Kirk and Spock in Abram’s summer blockbuster. Other disturbances in plot range from a plastic surgeon being able to fly two different types of planes through impossible situations and Chiwetel Ejiofor’s character knowing all about Cusack during their first meet-up. I don’t want to give them all up as it becomes quite a fun game picking out your favorites while you enjoy the film.
7. Last Minute Calls To Loved Ones
You know those scenes where a character plasters their previously subdued emotions all over the screen right before they die? That happens to pretty much every character in 2012. Whether it is the president’s call to his daughter, an Indian family calling their friend (Ejiofor), Oliver Platt’s call to his mother or two underdeveloped jazz players reaching out to lost connections, there is enough palpable forced emotion in the film to satisfy the rest of Emmerich’s career.
6. Arnold Impersonation
If you thought the terrible Arnold impersonation was bad in the clip below, you are in for a treat as it is slightly extended and feeding the film with hilarious lines like “He’s just an actor! He’s reading a script!” Check out the sample below.
5. Danny Glover as President
Every time Danny Glover is on screen one can’t help but wonder how bad everyone wanted Morgan Freeman instead. Glover is so damn serious and noble as he delivers every line that it makes for some pure hilarity. The script he is given is so bad that we wonder if they couldn’t have just hired Obama’s speechwriters as part of the $250 million dollars budget.
4. Gymnastic Dog
I know the Winter Olympics are coming up, but I hope they can reserve a spot on the 2012 Summer Olympic gymnastic squad for the acrobatic dog in the film. As if you haven’t had enough already, around the 2 hour and 15 minute mark, you witness only a spectacle Emmerich could pull off that is reminiscent of another dog sequence in Independence Day.
3. “It’s Russian”
The Russian characters in the film prove to be hilarious, but nothing comes close to the demise of Yuri, the leader of the pack. In a slow motion scene screaming with emotion, Yuri throws one of his annoying children up on a bridge to be saved as he falls to his demise. It’s the most “LOL”-worthy scene of the year.
2. Last Second Escapes
Although the film is basically strung together with these desperate escapes, there are a few notable ones. The first, as Cusack and his family are on board a plane that is mere seconds away from collapsing into the abyss, sets the bar. The rest live up to that bar as planes dodge in between buildings, out of dust clouds and over ledges. There are more “AAAAHHHHH’s” and “NO NO NO NO NO’s!” then all of Bay’s films combined and I think Emmerich deserves something for that.
1. Rejoicing after Billions of Deaths
When almost every single person you are close to dies in a fiery blaze or drowns in a massive tsunami, what would you do? Celebrate! At least that is what the array of characters in 2012 do. Sure, they end up saving humanity, but after over 2 hours and 30 minutes of complete destruction of every national landmark and 99% of all human beings it’s damn near impossible to connect with their unabashed joy.
Do you agree with the list? What do you think were the most ridiculous moments in 2012?