Each week within this column we strive to pair the latest in theatrical releases to worthwhile titles currently available on Netflix Instant Watch. This week we offer alternatives to Immortals, Jack and Jill & Into the Abyss alternatives.
On Friday muscle-bound men of legend face off against a duplicated doofus in drag and a striking new crime doc from Werner Herzog. But if these flicks can’t satisfy your thirst for mythic conflicts, gender-bending gut-busters and terrifyingly true tales, we’ve got you covered with a selection of tantalizing movies available online.
The Fall director Tarsem Singh returns with the tale of Theseus, a warrior of ancient Greece (played by Man of Steel Henry Cavill) chosen by Zeus (Luke Evans) to rise against King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke).
Ancient-era adventure awaits!
Xena: Warrior Princess (1995) Get your Greek on with this spin-off of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, which is also streaming. Lucy Lawless stars as a thick-thighed warrior princess with a lust for violence and her devoted companion/sidekick Gabrielle (Renée O’Connor). Each week the pair would set forth on a new adventure in ancient Greece, beset by monsters, mayhem and occasionally Bruce Campbell. All 6 seasons are streaming.
Conan the Barbarian (1982) 80s action-star Arnold Schwarzenegger proved his ass-kicking prowess with this loin-cloth clad performance as Conan, a gladiator hell-bent on revenge after his parents are murdered by an evil sorcerer (James Earl Jones). For bonus good times, pair it with it’s also streaming sequel Conan the Destroyer.
Jim Henson’s the Storyteller: Greek Myths (1991) For less something less campy and more kid-friendly, check out Jim Henson’s follow-up to his Emmy-winning series: The Storyteller. Where the first series focused on folk lore and fairy tales, this later incarnation told classic Greek myths with a Muppet-twist. Each week Michael Gambon and his devoted dog would unfold a tale of heroes facing off against horrors, like Perseus vs. Medusa, Theseus vs. The Minotaur, and Icarus vs. – well – gravity.
Adam Sandler co-stars with himself in this Thanksgiving-set family comedy in which a loud and obnoxious sister overstays her welcome at her twin brother’s home. Katie Holmes and Al Pacino co-star; Dennis Dugan directs.
Comedy can be a drag:
Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) Robin Williams stars as a struggling actor whose forced to don a wig and double-breasted body suit to sneak past his angry ex (Sally Field) to spend time with his kids… as the family’s new nanny. Pierce Brosnan and Harvey Fierstein co-star; Chris Coloumbus directs.
The Birdcage (1996) Another out there comedy with Robin Williams, here he stars as a gay club owner whose forced to hide his lifestyle and drag queen life-partner (Nathan Lane) from his son’s intensely conservative soon-to-be in-laws. Gene Hackman, Hank Azaria and Dianne Wiest co-star; Mike Nichols directs.
Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill (1999) Technically, the blisteringly funny British stand-up Eddie Izzard is a transvestite, not a drag queen, but I’m bending the rules for this gender bender to include his award-winning one man show. Here the wickedly smart history buff tackles a wide range of topics (from American movie stereotypes to the secret life of squirrels to the importance of flags in nation-building) with an incisive wit and a bold performance style that is as hilarious as it is memorable. Watch it now, so that you too can quip and quote Izzard at parties, or anywhere that offers cake…or death.
Werner Herzog directs this poignant documentary that examines the aftermath of a Texas triple homicide.
Fact is Stranger than fiction in these crime documentaries:
Square Grouper: The Godfathers of Ganja (2011) Documentarian Billy Corben delves into the history of America’s war on drugs by exploring the narratives of three different groups of 1970s and 80s marijuana dealers, the controversial Ethiopian Coptic Church, the notorious Black Tuna Gang, and a batch of poverty-stricken Everglades fishermen who turned to a new kind of catch when jobs dried up.
Wicked Attraction (2008) For something darker, try this troubling series that explores true stories of murder committed by couples. Boyfriends and girlfriends, mother and child, or deeply devoted friends pair up to commit heinous acts, which are later uncovered and dissected by a cadre of detectives, profilers and forensic specialists, providing some closure but little solace. Be warned: these true stories are truly disturbing.
After Innocence (2005) In this harrowing documentary, it’s not the crimes that are unsettling, but the shocking truth that many Americans have been wrongfully convicted. Here documentarian Jessica Saunders explores the stories of the exonerated, asking how they cope with the wild injustice they have been forced to face.
Winter’s Bone (2010) Debra Granik’s frightfully tense thriller launched the career of Jennifer Lawrence and earned both ladies and consummate supporting player John Hawkes Oscar nods. (Read my recent interview with Hawkes here.) For it’s bone-chilling coming of age drama and subtle yet poignant performances, this gritty indie also scored a top spot on my top 10 list last year. And now this rightly heralded crime-drama is available anytime online. So get into the spirit of the fast-approaching frigid weather, and watch a thriller with a climax so disturbing it’ll make your blood run cold! Set in the treacherous and drug-drenched backwoods of the Ozarks, Winter’s Bone centers on Ree Dolley (Lawrence), a 16-year-old girl forced to find her bail-jumping father before the bank forecloses on the house she shares with her kid brother, baby sister and practically catatonic mother. Without the house, Ree has no idea how she can keep the family alive through the fast-approaching winter. So, despite a sneered warning from her grim uncle Teardrop (Hawkes), Ree investigates her father’s whereabouts, making a batch of fearful enemies. Garret Dillahunt and Dale Dickey co-star.