In a sunny kitchen in California, Ruth prepares a sandwich with the muscle memory that only a lifetime allows. Bread is toasted and left to cool; dill is picked and chopped efficiently; sour cream, radish, and salmon are arranged to resemble a blooming flower. After going to get ready, she serves it to a man named Steve (H. Jon Benjamin) who she doesn’t seem to recognize. When he tells her he’s an architect, she responds, “My father builds homes. Maybe you’ll meet him one day.” Caught off-guard, her son can only offer a loving smile and say “I’d like that.”
This uncertain space––part clarity, part blur––is the subject of Sarah Friedland’s moving debut feature Familiar Touch. It’s the story of an older woman whose dementia causes her to shift between age identities, occasionally around her 80-something self, though sometimes a more gregarious and flirtatious 25. Friedland shot most of it in Villa Gardens, a continuing care center in Pasadena where Steve brings Ruth during the opening sequence, leaving her just as the penny drops. She will spend the film coming to terms with her situation there, befriending care workers Brian (Andy McQueen) and Vanessa (Carolyn Michelle) while getting acquainted with the changing rhythms of her life.
It’s a wonderfully gentle piece of filmmaking––something of a low-key triumph that offers a novel perspective on a topic that had become, if not entirely worn out, at least clichéd. Friedland’s deceptively complex approach is to tell Ruth’s story from her perspective instead of a loved one’s, and without ever fully revealing what’s happening in there. The film features no lengthy monologues and is sparing with its character’s suffering––at least not beyond the realities of her situation. The experiences we witness in Villa Gardens are largely pleasant: finding some agency by helping out in the kitchen, allowing herself some playful moments in her check-ups with Brian, and making a genuine connection with Vanessa. Even in her most difficult moments, Familiar Touch stays rooted on her side, allowing Ruth to rally with dignity when despair seems the more likely outcome. All of this is filmed (by Friedland’s regular collaborator Gabe Elder) with an intimacy that never feels intrusive or merely observational.
For her first time working with actors, Friedland has rounded up an endearing troupe: McQueen, Michelle, and Jon Benjamin (the voice of no less than Bob from Bob’s Burgers) each find just the ratio of warmth and weariness required of their roles. And then there is Chalfant, who brings a tremendous amount of inner life to a character who is not always clear which inner life is her own. Chalfant began her career on stage (getting her big break in Angels in America and an Obie win for Wit in 1999) but is probably better known for her work in television (The Affair, various Law & Orders). She appeared in The Last Days of Disco and more recently in Old, but Familiar Touch is a rare lead. I would be very happy to see more.
Friedland began making films as far back as 2014. Her work to now has focused on bodies and movement, with conceptual pieces that occasionally intersected with her work as caregiver for artists suffering neurodegenerative diseases. For Familiar Touch, the director draws from each of those experiences and memories of visiting her grandmother, an artist and intellectual who developed dementia and became non-verbal some years ago. Friedland has talked about the way her family would speak about her grandmother as if she was already gone, even though her personality still came out in different ways. That thoughtfulness and sensitivity are all over Friedland’s debut feature, a film that announces the arrival of a new voice on an independent scene that will be richer for it.
Familiar Touch premiered at the 2024 Venice Film Festival.