Director Jonathan English leads the charge in Ironclad, an earnest action flick that aims to blend historical gravitas with gruesome battle damage. But once the dust has settled and the blood is spilled, all that’s left is a dull disaster.

Set 1215, Ironclad centers on the little known siege of Rochester Castle, in which the notorious King John sought to brutally punish the barons who forced him to sign the Magna Carta — a treaty that essentially put limits on the king’s power. The premise allows for a number of prolonged action sequences, where gore abounds – but not the restrained or realistic wounds seen in stern-faced docudramas – which Ironclad for all its hamfistedness does seem to strive for. Instead the violence wrought upon these Englishmen seems straight out of B-movie horror. Men are split in twain. Their hands gleefully chopped off; their bodies pierced so brutally that blood gushes like fountains. But with the kind of low production values I typically associate with History Channel re-enactments, all this gruesomeness seems more garish and goofy than gritty or shocking. Add to this the clichéd use of shaky-cam cinematography every time a battle begins, and what you have are a barrage of poorly executed action sequences that fail to carry any emotional weight. At their best, they are silly, but at their worst: boring.

Between these overreaching set pieces, Ironclad awkwardly unravels the tale of a stoic Templar Knight (James Purefoy) who is deeply tormented by the wars he has already fought and so is eternally gloomy, even when the beautiful – but married—Lady Isabel (Kate Mara) begins shamelessly flirting with him. While Purefoy wrung plenty of fun out of his smug Mark Antony in HBO’s Rome, here he struggles at shouldering this chaotic epic, and delivers a one-note performance that includes much glaring and looking constipated. And sadly, Purefoy is not the only one to be tripped up in the drudgery of Ironclad.

Let me pause to say, as an avid moviewatcher, I count myself an eager appreciator of “that guy” actors – the supporting players whose names you may not remember, but whose faces bring a jolt of recognition and joy. To be honest, it was the hearty cast of “that guys” that drew my notice to Ironclad. And many of them bring a surge of life to the bleak corners of this ultra-violent knight’s tale. Brian Cox (Deadwood) is unbridled fun as a rebellious baron with a screw-you attitude who plays foil to Purefoy’s dour and judgmental knight. In the requisite “building the team” sequence, Cox gallops about with a crooked smile, gamely pulling quirky characters into the mix, who all work together to detract from the grim pall Purefoy casts over the narrative – oh yes and to defeat the evil king.

First, there’s the gawky archer (skilled character actor Mackenzie Crook of Pirates of the Caribbean and The Office) whose eager to leave his day job and set out for some well-payed adventure. Next, they pull a lustful bad boy mercenary (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels‘ darkly charming Jason Flemying) from the bed of a whore before buying a crude drunk (the easy to enjoy Jamie Foreman) from the stalks. Also in the mix is a loving father and an overeager squire (Aneurin Barnard in his film debut) who foolishly idolizes the Templar Knight. They are a motley band of brothers who reach Rochester Castle just in time to make it their stronghold as the vengeance-bent king is in hot pursuit!

Now, King John is played by one of my favorite actors, former “that guy” Paul Giamatti. And I hate to say it, but he is brought low by this over-the-top script. Giamatti violently unleashes wrath-filled monologues about the monarchy and their rights and rewards, and it’s almost Shakespearean in its grandiosity. But this is not Shakespeare. Not even close. And so these speeches seem out of place. But really, that can be said of much of Ironclad, as it recklessly strives to tackle many genres and fails to get even one right. It’s a cluttered hodgepodge of styles with a strident tone out of a costume drama, cinematography out of once-edgy espionage thrillers, gore out of horror, and a story structure modeled (poorly) after an action-adventure flicks. It’s a postmodern mess that is peppered with some fun turns by solid supporting players but overloaded with bloated action sequences. Ultimately, Ironclad is ambitious but overwrought.

Ironclad opens July 8th, 2011.

Grade: D

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