Although they are usually a proponent of all things original and groundbreaking when it comes to commercial animation, after extending their Toy Story franchise, Pixar has decided to do the same with Cars. The former series improved with each film, its third iteration becoming a critical and commercial success as it got nominated for Best Picture and crossed the coveted $1 billion mark. The latter franchise always seemed like the odd one out, widely referred to as the worst of Pixar’s otherwise stellar slate. But with a reported $10 billion earned in merchandising off the single 2006 film, they’ve gone ahead and made another.
And that is exactly what it feels like. Pixar has always made money in ancillary ways, but they’ve at least had the quality product to back it up. This is truly the first time it felt like the sole reason. There is no innovative storytelling like the first act of Wall-E, no heartbreaking, daring moments like in Toy Story 3, no sense of adventure like Up, no finely crafted charm found in Ratatouille. Even the nostalgia for open roads from the first Cars is gone here. You may say, “so what? This is a kids film and as long as there is dazzling races and funny jokes, I’ll enjoy it!”
It is a shame to report that the film, directed by John Lasseter and Brad Lewis, contains neither. Ben Queen‘s screenplay moves at such a blistering fast pace (and not in an exhilarating way) that it felt like Pixar, conscious of its insufficient plot and characters, were too afraid to let any moment breath.
Michael Caine kicks off the film as a British spy Finn McMissile, in the form of a slick Aston Martin. He boards an oil platform to uncover the beginning of a messy, globe-trotting plot of villainy. This is the only scene that partially works, with passable action, Caine’s appeal, and Michael Giacchino‘s chic score. But one can only ride on the James Bond theme for so long before it crumbles into a cheap parody.
Jumping back to the location of the first film Radiator Springs, the home of Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) and Mater (Larry the Cable Guy), our time here is brief. The duo reunite and their irritating relationship begins. McQueen takes a backseat for the rest film, as Pixar foolishly brings one of the most dull characters in their 25-year history to the forefront. Mater embodies the most tired and asinine comedy the platform has to offer, and when one focuses their entire film on it, the results are disastrous. After the umpteenth bathroom joke, followed by a sponsored State Farm Insurance bit, I nearly lost it. As a small-town hick traveling across the world, the sole message of “being yourself” Pixar attempts to convey is lost in the childish hijinks.
Through an incessant TV talk show, alternative energy mogul Miles Axelrod (Eddie Izzard) is planning a jet-setting World Grand Prix and McQueen gets strung in through his cackling archenemy, an Italian Formula 1 car played by John Turturro. The first race in Japan showcases the highlight of the film and a component expected from Pixar, gorgeous animation. As Mater and McQueen arrive in the vibrant city, the reflections on the rainy pavement are astounding. Little touches like this, whether it is the dazzling Mediterranean coastal town of Porto Corsa, or ravishing water effects, will sporadically wake one up as the story continually devolves into a burdening slumber.
When it comes to the actual racing, the plot is so caught up in the sloppy espionage thread, that what could have been the best part of the film feels like an afterthought. Those expecting Speed Racer-esque visual wonderment will be sorely disappointed. Any moment one begins to feel engaged, we jump back to the wholly uninteresting Mater and his accidental spy mission. This choppy structure could have worked if the two strands were better tied together. It is only until the last race in London that Mater has a hand in the outcome, but motivations are so convoluted by then, it is difficult to muster up any sort of excitement.
Riding on nothing but visuals, Cars 2 is a grating, unpleasant experience. With all of Pixar’s past efforts there was always another layer riding underneath the clever jokes and top-notch animation. There was something for adults to latch on to, even in the original Cars. Their latest offering does nothing more than serve up the lowest common denominator of “comedy,” while injecting some sort of unclear message on fuel usage that will float over children’s heads and fail to connect with adults. Coming from the best animation studio in the world, it saddens me that Cars 2 is not only a disappointing misfire, but a noxious creation that I loathed from beginning to end, despite the expected visual flourishes. There is a chance kids will appreciate the flashy explosions and poop jokes, but Pixar’s debacle drove me up a wall.