Valentine’s Day has the bare resemblance of a plot, is filled with annoying characters exchanging tried cliches and leaves one with nothing to remember. Yet, I enjoyed it. As a hodgepodge of love and all the things that comes with it on the ridiculous holiday, the film manages to entertain for it’s two hour run-time. With a cast filled out by (take a deep breath) Bradley Cooper, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba, Ashton Kutcher, Julia Roberts, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Garner, Kathy Bates, Jamie Foxx, Patrick Dempsey, Topher Grace, Queen Latifah, Taylor Lautner, Taylor Swift, George Lopez, and Emma Roberts there leaves little time for any personal connection amongst the characters, nor the audience. Though, this smorgasbord of characters is a good thing for a film of its kind.
When it comes to romantic comedies there are the terrible, mundane ones that seem to drag on forever with no end in sight (The Ugly Truth, Love Happens) and then there are the rare, special ones (Love Actually, 500 Days of Summer) that succeed in doing what the rest intend to; truly convey love. Valentine’s Day successfully avoids the former by never making the audience deal with one character for too long. You hate Taylor Lautner? Rightfully so, as he is hands down the worst part of this film. Well, before he struggles to spit out three lines, we are on to the next set of characters. While screenwriter Katherine Fugate and director Garry Marshall never reach the latter top-tier set of rom-coms, this one moves along at such a barreling speed, I can’t complain. After sitting through rom-com after rom-com where we are stuck with boring characters that match the tedious plots for the ENTIRE run-time, I’d rather watch Valentine’s Day any day of the week.
Bradley Cooper and Julia Roberts bring the best performances with the most satisfying conclusion, albeit not fully finished when it comes to Cooper’s character. Why only go 95% of the way? Ashton Kutcher, who is the prominent character, entertains as he experiences life-changing events that should take months in real life, yet all happen in less than a day. But that day is Valentine’s day, so I digress. His relationship with Jennifer Garner has the most weight to it, but like everything in the film, not fully realized. Jamie Foxx commands with his witty delivery and generally engaging demeanor. George Lopez brings much needed energy in between some of the less interesting threads. His conclusion also stands as one of the most relatable. The high school virginity story between Emma Roberts and her boyfriend delivered the most laughs, as we can all relate to our first romantic encounters. Topher Grace returns with his first film since the Spider-Man 3 mess and, although the lines he is given are poor, his body language and facial expressions make up for it. Unfortunately his pairing rips away any chemistry the two may have, as we move on to the bad.
Anne Hathaway who deserved an Oscar for Rachel Getting Married, shows no sign of it here. She plays an oddly off-putting phone sex call woman and when it comes time to connect to Topher Grace‘s character, it’s impossible. I also need to see New Moon, as it’s a wonder how the aforementioned Taylor Lautner has any fans with his wooden delivery and douchebag human (not character) traits. Another young lady that shows little hope is Taylor Swift, in her feature film debut. Instead of coming off like the airhead she is supposed to, we are left with awkward exchanges that never end with a laugh. Rounding out the noteworthy disappointing performances is Jessica Biel. Are we really supposed to believe an attractive woman like her spends every single Valentine’s Day alone hating the world? She isn’t given much to do and it’s capped off by a forced relationship with none other than Jamie Foxx.
I’ve spent most of the review talking about the characters, since that is clearly what Marshall wants us to focus on. There is no fancy camera movement, aside from one nice tracking shot following Jennifer Garner through a florist shop. The lighting is all standard with a few flourishes towards the end on a moonlit river pathway. In the end, Valentine’s Day, despite all it’s problems, will keep one entertained. If you are in love, check it out with that special someone and you may just have a good time. After viewing, join everyone else and go watch Love Actually while we leave it to the British for our romantic comedies.
5 out of 10