This is a review of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. To read this review of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time move your eyes from the left to the right side of the screen. Then go to the next line and repeat. The point of this review of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is tell you my opinion of the film. I have now told you the point of this review of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time.
Does this piss you off? I present to you the screenplay, and the biggest fault, of the latest Disney film from Mike Newell (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Four Weddings and a Funeral). Written by Carlo Bernard, Doug Miro and Boaz Yakin, every little theme, idea and plot point in the film is tirelessly repeated, explained, and then explained again. This patronization dwindles the great elements from the film down to mere grains of sand.
Jake Gyllenhaal is Dastan, a mischievous child of the slums who is taken in by the great King Sharaman of Persia (Ronald Pickup). Flash forward fifteen years and he is now a prince of Persia. He and his brothers are headed to take over the Holy City of Alamut, where the beautiful Princess Tamina (Gemma Arterton) reigns. Shortly after, his surrogate father King Sharaman dies and the blame is placed on Dastan. Adventure ensues.
As a huge fan of the 2003 video game, developed by Jordan Mechner (who receives screen story credit), those fun elements are transferred here. Some work well, like Gyllenhaal dashing through crowded streets and on top of buildings. Virtual camera movements telling the audience what Gyllenhaal has to do next don’t have the same effect. The main crux of the game, the dagger which can control time, is revealed around thirty minutes in. In true Bruckheimer fashion it is a swirling epic spectacle that works just about as best it can. Unfortunately, the ultimate use for it mindbogglingly rips away our investment in the story within mere seconds.
Newell’s lavish production and set design do wonders for putting us into a believable ancient world. Alfred Molina also elevates what could have been an atrocious plot misfire involving ostriches. The stunningly beautiful Gemma Arterton, who is thankfully given a lot more to do than in this year’s Clash of the Titans, is mesmerizing on screen. The one element that many feared was Jake Gyllenhaal as a Persian prince. He is able to pull it off with just enough wit and blockbuster prowess to lead this adventure.
Above it all the film does perpetuate the fact that without an engaging screenplay everything falls apart. I’m not asking for Casablanca, just something that doesn’t make us feel like zombies while we watch the pretty colors fly by. Yes Jake Gyllenhaal, we understand brotherhood is just as important as the dagger you carry. There is no reason to anchor every single scene on this idea.
There were literally times my jaw dropped that they had to repeat something that we were seeing happen onscreen in front of us at that very moment. If we see time is slowing down, you don’t need to say time is slowing down. If we see you getting up to go somewhere, we don’t need you to say you are getting up to go somewhere. If we know the dagger has power, you don’t need to say the dagger has power. This useless dialogue just simply had to be cut out and the movie would have instantly been more enjoyable.
Prince of Persia is far from the epic adventure it could have been. I hope the early disappointing box office returns and poor critical reception dissuade Disney from developing a Pirates of the Caribbean-esque trilogy. While some moments have a small glimmer of what could have been, this film is nowhere near the solid introduction that was The Curse of the Black Pearl. Even on its own, the unsatisfying conclusion and poor script bog down the swashbuckling elements that should have been the focus. You are better off plugging in that console and popping in the video game. If only you could just press “X” in the theater to skip this story.
4.5 out of 10