It’s time for you to go and buy some DVDs, but you don’t know what’s good or bad?  You want me to tell you what I’m getting?  Well, here you go:

Grab ‘Em Right Away:

The Princess and the Frog

Directed by: Ron Clements & John Musker

Written by: Ron Clements & John Musker

Starring: Anika Noni Rose, Bruno Campos, David Kieth & Michael-Leon Wooley.

Why should you buy this? If you’re one of those who have been enjoying the recent Pixar revolution of animation but at the same time pestering Disney to not give up on traditional hand-drawn animation, this is the film for you.  If you aren’t, this is still the film for you.  It’s an amazing return to form for Disney with 2D animation and some brilliant songs.  It’s wonderful retelling of the classic Frog Prince story with a bit of a twist. This is definitely a movie you’re going to want to add to your child’s (or just your) DVD rotation of animated musicals.

Give it a Chance:

Ninja Assassin

Directed by: James McTeigue

Written by: Matthew Sand & J. Michael Straczynski

Starring: Rain, Naomi Harris & Ben Miles

Why should you rent this? If you read the title of this movie and your natural response was “HELL YEAH!” then this is the movie for you.  It’s very light on the plot and very heavy on the ridiculous ninja action.  I did find it slightly distracting when I was able to tell when the director had placed in the CGI weapons and blood rather than making the action sequences more practical, but it the end it doesn’t hurt the movie enough to be a complete waste for action junkies out there.

Astro Boy

Directed by: David Bowers

Written by: Osuma Tezuka & Timothy Harris

Starring: Nicholas Cage, Kristen Bell, Freddy Highmore & Donald Sutherland

Why should you rent this? It is a fun kid’s film. There is really no other reason.  If you don’t have kids to show this to, then consider this a skip.  It’s not fun in ways that I recommend Miyazaki movies or Pixar films.  It’s based off of a famous manga and it does stay true to the original property for the most part. It has all the action sequences and slapstick side characters (like the robotic resistance) to keep the kiddies interested.  It’s not the best children’s film for an adult to watch, but there is much worse out there.

Avoid it Like the Plauge:

Armored

Directed by: Nimrod Antal

Written by: James V. Simpson

Starring: Matt Dillon, Columbus Short, Lawrence Fishburne, Jean Reno & Milo Ventimiglia

Why should you not bother arresting this movie? Because it is carefully filed in my long list of films that are a waste of your time.  It’s one of the stupidest and blandest heist films you may just ever watch, if you happen to actually make it through it.  It becomes more and more obvious that this is one of those movies that got made mainly because the studio happened to have four stars on contract and they cooked up a script in a couple of weeks and just churned out the most mediocre dross you could ever conjure up in your mind.

New Moon

Directed by: Chris Weitz

Written by: Mellisa Rosenberg & Stephanie Meyer

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner & Robert Pattinson

Why should you not choose wolf or vamp? Let’s see, how can I put this so that I don’t sound like every other guy shitting on Twilight and it’s crapfest of a vampire franchise.  If you watch this movie you will see:

• A woman watching months go buy while she sits in a depression trying to will her Edward back to her, and she never seems to eat or take a shower.
• Every shot of Robert Pattinson will be of him in slow motion either shirtless or of his shirt being blown off
• Taylor Lautner will be shirtless also for most of this movie, and yes ladies if you lay him you will go to jail;  remember that.
• Kristen Stewart will continue to always look depressed, even though her character is supposed to be happy in a scene.

I’d like to make it perfectly clear that everything above is a fact.  This movie is not good. It’s better than its predecessor, but it’s still not anything resembling a good movie.  Let’s hope that they get this franchise over with quickly so that we can forget it.

Jordan’s Blu-ray Deals of the Week

Face/Off [$9.99]
Eyes Wide Shut [$9.99]
Pineapple Express [$12.99]
Away We Go [$13.99]

The Rest

Mystery Science Theater 3000: XVII
Did You Hear About the Morgans
Monk: Season Eight
Breaking Bad: The Complete Second Season
South Park: The Complete Thirteenth Season
Broken Embraces
Paris
The Fourth Kind
Under Great White Northern Lights
Bandslam
SuicideGirls: Guide to Living
Wonderful World
Brief Interviews with Hideous Men

Blu- Ray
Gunslinger Girl: The Complete First Season
Gunslinger Girl: II Teatino (Season 2)
Breaking Bad: The Complete First Season
Pontypool

What are you picking up this week? What are you avoiding?

According to Deadline Hollywood, the plans for the final Twilight book, Breaking Dawn film adaptation have been confirmed. Summit will be using the Warner Bros. Harry Potter model and separating the final book into two films  to go into production back-to-back. They are also apparently looking at “high-end” directors for the project. Shooting for the film will reportedly begin in mid-October. The third film in the series, Eclipse will be in theaters June 30th.I can’t think of a singe “high-end” director who would be willing to take on the project. By high-end I am positive they mean a name they can throw on the posters but still get relatively cheaply (Stephen Sommers perhaps). Based on everything I have read about the plot of Breaking Dawn I have 3 words for Summit… Good f*cking luck.

Who should direct Breaking Dawn?

Thanks to a press release from Summit Entertainment, it is now known that the next film in the Twilight franchise, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, will be released in both conventional cinemas and IMAX theaters. Read the full press release below:

[SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT TO DISTRIBUTE THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE TO IMAX® THEATRES BEGINNING JUNE 30, 2010

Los Angeles, CA - December 9, 2009 - IMAX Corporation (NASDAQ: IMAX; TSX: IMX) and Summit Entertainment announced today that The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, the third film in the studio’s Twilight franchise, will be released to IMAX^® theatres simultaneously with the film’s launch on June 30, 2010. Directed by David Slade (30 DAYS OF NIGHT, HARD CANDY) and starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse will be digitally re-mastered into the unparalleled image and sound quality of The IMAX Experience^® with proprietary IMAX DMR^® (Digital Re-mastering) technology. The crystal-clear images coupled with IMAX’s customized theatre geometry and powerful digital audio create a unique environment that will make audiences feel as if they are in the movie. The film franchise is based on the book series by Stephenie Meyer.

“Twilight moviegoers will have a whole new way to experience this next installment of the series, with the enhanced image and sound quality of The IMAX Experience putting them IN the movie,” said Richie Fay, Summit Entertainment’s President of Domestic Theatrical Distribution. “The IMAX release puts us on the event film calendar for 2010, and we’re very excited to work with IMAX to bring a new kind of film to the IMAX theatre network.”

“Our 2010 film slate continues to fill out with strong titles, and a film from this incredible franchise is a very welcome addition,” said IMAX CEO Richard L. Gelfond. “This title fills a valuable spot in our 2010 summer release window, and will no doubt thrill IMAX audiences.”

“We’re very excited to work with our new partners at Summit Entertainment to transport the very loyal and enthusiastic Twilight fans into the world of the Volturi via The IMAX Experience,” added Greg Foster, Chairman and President of IMAX Filmed Entertainment. “With our growing theatre network, we’re poised to take advantage of the rapidly growing fan-base devoted to this dynamic, cutting edge series.”

In The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, Bella once again finds herself surrounded by danger as Seattle is ravaged by a string of mysterious killings and a malicious vampire continues her quest for revenge. In the midst of it all, she is forced to choose between her love for Edward and her friendship with Jacob - knowing that her decision has the potential to ignite the ageless struggle between vampire and werewolf. With her graduation quickly approaching, Bella is confronted with the most important decision of her life.]

The technology being used to remaster the film is the same technology that was used to remaster Star Trek for IMAX as well as many other films that are not shot in the format.

Do I even need to express my complete disgust at this announcement? I’m sure every tween/teen girl is already prepping their wallets for the up-coming purchase. Hell I’m sure some of them are already on line at the box office. The power of this franchise is unbelievably stupid. Any self-respecting filmgoer knows that this was inevitable but no less pointless. The third film is due in theaters June 30th, 2010.

Do you want to see Twilight Eclipse in IMAX?

With New Moon, the second film in the Twilight saga (using that word to its lightest possible extent) setting the box office and the hearts of so many teenage girls on fire, and with the third film Eclipse scheduled for release in only less than seven months, the question of an adaptation of a fourth and final film, to be based on the last book Breaking Dawn, looms large. Sure, these movies are doing very well for themselves and all, but that last book is apparently supposed to be pretty terrible. Not that Twilight was a large creative success, but apparently even fans hate it. I wouldn’t know, as I have next to no association with the series. But with the impending release of the third film, a decision had to be made quick. And it looks like fans may get what they wanted. Or considering they hate the last book, dreaded.

As Variety (via CHUD) tells us, it seems that Breaking Dawn will indeed become not just one, but perhaps two movies. See, that last book is rather long at, what Wikipedia tells me, 756 pages. Like the film version of the last Harry Potter film, it might require the filmmakers to divide the story into two separate films (we need as vampire much brooding as possible). Apparently Chris Weitz, director of New Moon, has been asked to return for the last film(s). He was apparently set to retire after his upcoming picture The Gardener, but with a cut of the back-end of a potentially huge movie, would you resist? Probably not. The stars of the preceding three are also expected to make a return, although that’s always been expected.

The only reason I have any desire to see a Breaking Dawn adaptation is because of this article from CHUD about the contents of the fourth book. Now if that can be faithfully replicated in the film, I will be there at midnight with all the screaming Twi-Hards (although I imagine they’ll be screaming for different reasons this time). I can understand something like Deathly Hallows being a two movie deal, as that book contained very little extraneous material to it. I would certainly never put the two franchises in the same categories, as the difference in quality (or at least what I’ve seen from Twilight) is miles apart, and to split the book into two movies here seems silly, as I feel like not a lot needs to be done to adapt it. Or at least from what I know. Otherwise? Don’t care. Twilight is like heroin. Never touched the stuff, and the people who do often end up in a bad state. No thanks.

What do you think of a Breaking Dawn movie(s)?

I haven’t seen New Moon. I’ve seen the trailers, and heard the instant purring of teen girls when that first shot of Robert Pattinson appeared on the screen, hair going every which way and the thin rouge lips of a Parisian prostitute puckered in a perpetual grimace. I could only fathom their attraction to this androgynous caricature when I saw the boys that accompanied these girls: matted hair in their eyes, milkworm skin with just the hint of pubescent stubble, bottomed by skinny jeans that would require pliers to pull up the zipper. Pattinson is their archetypal epitome. The ultimate in neo-goth trendsetting. I mean, he is a vampire. But his fan base goes beyond the obvious teenage girls (and the wiry, skinny jean wearing boys by extension) and hits an estrogenic demographic I have not witnessed in pop culture since Leo’s dirty blond locks bobbed on the scrim of an icy Atlantic.

I haven’t seen New Moon, not only because I’m a guy, and by default my penis would be excluded from any pre-screenings or previews, but because every woman in North America, old and young, showed up those male nerds who might speak Klingon or own a Stormtrooper suit, and broke every conceivable opening day record on the books. These self-proclaimed Twi-hards have created a new cinematic caste producers have been vying to harness since Romeo committed suicide to proclaim his undying love for Juliet. And I think that’s fair. I say this with some trepidation, of course, but why would it not be? For years we’ve had our Star Wars and Batmans, we’ve had our superheroes and super villains, and we’ve dragged our girlfriends and wives with us despite certain protestations so they could witness our transfixed stares and our boyhood wishes come to fruition, only to bear the brunt of our childish whining once we realized how dashed our expectations truly were. I’m still not certain what kind of response we expect when we make such claims as: George Lucas raped my childhood. I think every woman is turning to us with devilish grins, uttering: it’s our turn now, and we’re forced to take it to account for the equity in film and therefore the conclusive liberalization of Hollywood. And I have no problem with that. At least, I didn’t until I actually watched Twilight.

It was my wife’s suggestion: perhaps her interest had been piqued by the very same female colleagues who idolized the boyish good looks of Zac Efron as he sang in angst-ridden and love-struck soliloquies to a young viewer with dreams of living in a universe where Glee is realistic. My wife hadn’t read the Twilight books, so I can account for her good tastes, but curiosity can sometimes make an ugly bedfellow. Twilight was on our local movie superstation, so instead of testing the waters of a frigid night, we sank into our couch and I decided, for the moment, to relinquish any impulse to scoff and just enjoy myself. Any why not? This series had virtually lobotomized my sister and aunt, provoking a pilgrimage to Vancouver in an effort to catch even a glimpse of Edward beneath the Linus-haze of soot that is so characteristic of the gossip-rag version of Rob Pattinson. They had to settle with Taylor Lautner, but after judging his physical transformation in this new movie, at least they were able to gawk at a masculine stature rather than a stick-thin anaemic “vegetarian vampire” with an Elvis-coif. But if this series could induce two married women to abandon their children for one weekend, certainly there must be some merit to the content.

I didn’t get it. That’s what it all came down to. Maybe my penis is the difference…the right amount of class to build an immunity. I don’t know. I asked my wife, and after a moment of contemplation she only nodded her head and said: “I don’t understand the lust for Pattinson, but I do understand the implicit sexual tension between Edward and Bella.” Implicit, I might add, only because this certain tract came from the imagination of a Mormon woman who sought not coitus for her opus but a different transmission of fluids; it’s as if Stephenie Meyer thought it prudent to fortify her faithful adherence to premarital abstinence with a Freudian nudge to oral play. The movie plays with those sorts of assumptions: Bella, a plain girl by any stretch of the imagination, moves to a dreary Washington town only to be reified by every high school boy imaginable. If it was Meyer’s intention to create the every-woman or the plain-Jane, she failed miserably. How can she expect her reader to empathize with a character who is constantly asked to the prom? Are we supposed to feel sorry for her because her father, the town sheriff, had grown accustomed to single life and is now just adjusting to her presence? Instead of home-cooked meals, we see her suffering over burgers and fries at the local diner where a variety of happy townies make her feel like part of the family. She doesn’t have to struggle with the challenges of fitting in; it just happens by virtue of Meyer’s authorial power. Her only real conflict results in her relationship with Edward, the pale loner with mischievous eyes and a penchant for popped collars. We know he is a vampire: I haven’t read the books and I knew. Yet the expository first two acts of this movie deal with Bella’s investigation and resulting discovery of Edward’s true nature, culminating in a moral that Meyer seemingly ignores. You can judge a book by its cover, for Edward is really a senior citizen in a teenager’s body, but it’s his glossy outward appearance, and not the grandfatherly wisdom within, that Bella (and the rest of the female world, with the exception of my wife) is attracted to. And I say this only to compound the fact that Edward treats Bella like an outcast, like a leper. I learned, in time, it was because her scent was like nothing he had ever confronted, and it took every ounce of his soulless convictions to keep from consuming her. But I knew this was not a threat: the damn movie has three sequels. The stories are told from Bella’s perspective. If she was in any danger, I didn’t care. I didn’t notice. I was just blown away by Edward’s sparkling diamond-skin, an invention by Meyer for vampires in her universe. Everything about her vampires defamiliarizes convention, and I did not have a problem with that. If literary inventions were all bound by canon, then innovation would be a thing of the past. I can only applaud Meyer’s creativity.

I struggled with the movie because as a film it was poorly executed. Twilight took visual effects back two decades, and it seemed to expound the Saved by the Bell school of acting, though with a ruminative edge that would appeal to today’s darker youth. So having seen the first movie in the “saga,” I was left not with an understanding of the mass hysteria surrounding the franchise and a “good-on-you” to women with a claim to a filmic empire all their own, but an empty remorse that this…this calibre of story-telling had become a benchmark that would further define future genres. We can all thank Twilight for True Blood and Vampire Diaries. Thank you. But who’s to blame? I’ve read reviews of New Moon that have come off sounding misogynistic, written by elitist “fanboys” who nearly considered suicide the moment a girlie move de-throned The Dark Knight. There’s a bias involved in those aspersions that cast criticism not on the content but on the success. I would agree, the content is undeserving of such success, but maybe speaking as an author myself, my own perspective is twisted by an invidious regret that I hadn’t come up with Edward and Bella. I think partial blame is on what I call the Perez Hilton generation, those teens and tweens who grew up with the internet and now rely on an openly gay blogger for their daily news, imbued with all of his crass ideological presumptions. His fame relies on the conformity of his younger readers, and if he relishes in sexual fantasies of Robert Pattinson by scribing crudely drawn genitalia on candid photos of the star, these young kids only adore him more because they see this as some eldritch seal of approval. But there is a certain trend starting here: I see it every day. Any criticism of Twilight invites vitriolic ad hominen attacks from innocent little girls who otherwise would not hurt a fly. To them, the source material is above reproach. If anything, Stephenie Meyer found a niche and she’s exploited it. I sometimes harass my younger cousins about the series, voicing my suspicions of its merits, and the response I always garner is: “well, have you read the books?” I can only respond: “I tried while I was taking a shit and let me tell you, had I run out of toilet paper, I would not have worried.”

Maybe that’s what Twilight is for guys the world over: literary and filmic toilet paper. And by virtue of exchange, I’m certain those Twi-hards would shout the same about our beloved Star Wars. But Darth Vader could kick Edward’s ass.

Ryan Christensen is a new contributor to The Film Stage. He has written a trilogy of novels in which one can find more about here and this his first of hopefully many contributions to the site.

In this edition of Double Take writer Josie Mangani and editor Addam Hardy give a male and female editorial perspective review on the recently released installment of The Twilight Saga — New Moon. The two editorial reviews will be combined here into a single article entitled Double Take.

Plot synopsis:

Following the vampire attack in the first installment of Twilight that nearly killed her, Bella settled into a more relaxed and comfortable Forks, Washington, and prepared for her upcoming Birthday. At the birthday party at the Cullen’s home she accidentally shed some blood which created some serious fears and concerns in the minds of the Cullen’s considering their feverish desire for human blood.

After the accident, the Cullen’s decide to leave town for the benefit of Bella’s life. Bella is completely heartbroken and deals with horrible nightmares and serious bouts of depression due to the loss of her love. Bella realizes that the only time she could actually see Edward was when she was being reckless with her life and putting herself in danger. This causes Bella to begin acting strangely, and during this time she develops a close relationship with Jacob Black. However, Jacob Black becomes something Bella never could have anticipated.

Torn between deciding if she wants to hold onto the past or embrace the future, Bella is again thrown into a supernatural situation where she has no business; dealing with love, obsession, friendship and the cost of all three.

Josie’s take on New Moon:

With the turbulent feelings surrounding New Moon highly charged with estrogen, it feels almost like a farce to be a female without a strong inclination toward Weitz’s adaptation of Meyer’s second vampire book. That is not to say, however, that New Moon isn’t a better film than its predecessor – it is. With a bigger budget and better director, the Twilight sequel has managed to achieve a visually appealing movie with some engaging action scenes. It may not appeal to an audience beyond the teenage girl niche that it is famous for, but frankly does it really matter when it can break the opening day record with $80 million?

For Summit Entertainment it really doesn’t matter at all where the money is coming from because they’ve struck gold in the most unlikely of places. But how can movie buffs, or even casual moviegoers, not feel like they’ve been slapped in the face with a movie such as New Moon breaking box office records? The quality of Weitz’s film may have improved visually on Hardwicke’s Twilight, but the shonky acting and meaningless storyline is as baseless as ever. Even as a female, in the age group that these films are directed to, I couldn’t help but cringe at the way Edward and Jacob were portrayed as superior, God-like creatures. Poor Bella Swan hasn’t heard of feminism yet, and as she mourns the loss of one man in her life, she is quick to latch onto another as the months of Edward’s absence go by.

Before I go on, it would perhaps be appropriate to add that I actually read each book in the Twilight series before any of the movies were commissioned. The fact that Bella Swan was a very different character in the first draft of the Twilight script was not the result of bad script writing. Bella’s character lacks the independent spirit she requires to be the hero of the Twilight movies. New Moon wavers between the male leads, Edward and Jacob. Fans of the movies chant for Team Edward or Team Jacob and Bella is somehow lost in the middle without a purpose or cause to continue without them.

The Romeo and Juliet overtones at the beginning and end of this movie were poignant to the plot but only beautiful in their own right. Combined with New Moon, the literary comparison cheapens and entirely misses the point of Shakespeare’s original text. Bella and Edward may not be an ordinary couple, but nor are they star-crossed lover’s, as any reader of Breaking Dawn would know.

Chris Weitz did his job as best he could with the materials available to him. The lush scenery of the Pacific Northwest combined with the haunting score by Alexandre Desplat offer us a nice distraction from the otherwise empty lines fit for daytime soap operas. A fast-paced chase through the forest with CGI wolves and a brazen red haired Victoria provides us with enough action to mull over while we watch Edward almost sacrifice himself for love.

In all, New Moon is exactly what you would expect it to be – Twilight without the blue filter and better, albeit more expensive, cinematography. Perhaps Eclipse will put to rest the problems surrounding this franchise, but I wouldn’t hold your breath.

Addam’s take on New Moon:

The popularity of Twilight is indisputable and at times nauseating. What exactly Twilight’s rabid fan base finds in such a vapid and lacking story is the real question. Honestly, I was getting tired of hearing so many people verbally destroy the Twilight property as well as its fanbase. So to be honest, I really wanted to like New Moon. I really wanted to go into New Moon with a clean slate and come out of it telling everyone that they are all full of shit and are only jumping on the hate bandwagon; much like we all did, and do, on the male version of the strange ultra-fan phenomenon — The Boondock Saints. I thought to myself, surely if I only could change my perspective and open my mind I can break through the murky waters of Twilight fandom and find the real heart of what Twilight is and what its true fans find so appealing about it. I really believed, and like a young boy who waited up all night to catch the Easter Bunny sneaking through his house, I discovered my belief was misplaced, abused and as fleeting as my anticipation to see the film while standing in a line for an hour and a half for a midnight screening. It’s time for straight talk kids: My hopes were all in vain because Twilight has about the same amount of actual substance, message and entertainment to offer the audience as listening to two wide eyed love struck middle schoolers going back and forth in the “No, I love YOU more,” game on the telephone.

Confronted with the mental anguish that is a protracted love story of Bella Swan and her painfully difficult love Edward Cullen, the audience is torn between long awkward stares augmented with confusing impenetrable bouts of silence and stuttered and repetitive professions of obsession and love as poetic and meaningful as those 8th grade love letters you have stuffed in a shoe box under your bed. If Shakespearean love were the Sistine Chapel, the pouty tortured teenage infatuation that is confused and mislabeled as love in the Twilight Saga would be a stick man drawn on a dinner napkin with a crayon.

Aside from the utter lack of substance from the source material, the acting in the film is laughable at best. However, I started to get the feeling while watching that this form of acting was being coached and encouraged. The fans of Twilight love these characters and the way they act and profess their love. With the first installment setting the tone and the bar of acting ability, how would we react to a second film full of Oscar worthy performances? They wouldn’t be the same characters anymore and could possibly lose their appeal their audiences. Are Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart really that awful at acting or are they unfortunately locked, and by locked I mean making more money than I’ll ever dream of and attaining more global popularity than most heads of state, into characters that have absolutely nothing to bring to the screen? I would love to see Kristen Stewart out of her type-casted awkward-emo-teen girl roles and into something where we can get a true gauge of her ability. Fortunately, the burden of having the worst performance in New Moon was removed from Robert Pattinson’s plate as he was rarely in the film and only for short spans of time when he was. The mantle of male lead was passed on to Taylor Lautner who, among the lead roles, clearly has the most legitimate and marketable acting ability in the cast. Unfortunately, his performance as an actor was often eclipsed by the shirt-off ripped muscles eye candy he was being forced to whore about screen with. For a story that has a core theme of ‘never ever have sex or you will feel extreme pain and die,’ New Moon is filled with enough teenage sexual desire and swoon worthy eye candy to make your local high school abstinence club faint trying to understand the paradoxical dilemma painted with wide strokes throughout the material. Stephenie Meyer’s official stance: Want to have sex so bad you feel like dying, but when you decide to have sex, don’t do it, or you will die.

Ultimately after all the talk is boiled down to meaningless repetitive bitching, if you will like Twilight, you probably already do and there is nothing wrong with that. This property has spread like an unstoppable virus and is only increasing with strength. Will the fever burn out eventually only to leave the books collecting dust in your local libraries and the DVDs in that large $2.99 bin at Wal-Mart of long lost and forgotten junk DVDs that would cost more to trash than sell for less than the cost of Happy Meal? My guess is yes, but it’s probably going to be a long time until that happens. Whatever it is that fueled this pop-culture phenomenon, my initial assumption is some sort of deal with the devil, or whatever it is that Twilight fans find so comforting and touching in The Twilight Saga “love story” may never be clear to me, but I’m not in this film’s target audience and it is by no means hurting to gain me or any one who thinks like me as a follower. The fanbase has a sturdy foundation and has taken root. I want to say it is a horrible story, but if enough people believe it is a great story doesn’t that make it true and me wrong? For the cause of continuing our lives without causing anuerisms due to trying to process the ‘why’ of Twilight, I say keep on loving what you love Twilight fans. I wish I enjoyed anything half as much as you enjoy this insipid attempt at expressing teenage love. Just please don’t talk to me about how much you love it. Ever. Please.

After New Moon‘s massive box office take of $140.7 million (the 3rd highest opening weekend of all time) Variety has a report on director Chris Weitz. The article confirms his next film will be The Gardener, about “a hard-working immigrant who lives in Los Angeles and his efforts to protect his son” with production to start in March or April. Weitz also denies previous rumors about his retirement. He says New Moon has “invigorated him” after his terrible experience with New Line and The Golden Compass. The film was taken away from him and New Line ripped out 30 minutes of footage, losing any relevance to the original Philip Pullman books. Weitz is is happy New Moon did better than Compass, saying:

It was an utter violation of my status as a director and the worst thing that has happened to me professionally. I was treated badly, it was almost like they never read the books [in regards to The Golden Compass]. They seemed frightened of offending the right. This [New Moon] was a wonderful experience by comparison. I got to work with terrific young actors at the top of their game, and see Taylor Lautner perform so well.

Are you happy Weitz isn’t retiring? What kind if project would you like him to see take on?

Variety reports that Twilight: New Moon has set the all-time midnight opening record, raking in $26.3 million at the 12:01 am showings across 3,514 theaters.. To put this in perspective The Dark Knight made $18.4 million on July 18, 2008 and Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince made $22.2 million on July 15, 2009. Fandango is also reporting the film is selling 10 tickets per second on their site. When it comes to weekend grossed the first Twilight had a 49% drop from Friday to Saturday compared to The Dark Knight which only had a 29% drop over the same time frame.  I don’t see New Moon breaking the opening weekend gross record of $158.4 million, but it may come close. In other news The Blind Side is set to open at a fairly nice $18-22 million weekend, while the original Twilight shows last night grossed $1.3 million.

We normally don’t post box office reports, but damn, this record is crazy. I fully believe it will drop heavy after all the fans have seen it, and it certainly isn’t something that will warrant repeat viewings.

Are you surprised by the massive gross? Will it be the highest grossing flick of the year?

Summit Entertainment | USA | 130 mins

The Twilight Saga: New Moon is a slight improvement over the first installment, yet still remains a void of pure mediocrity. This forgettable sequel features the same formula as the first film with similar character dilemmas brought on by cringe-inducing relationships. It’s all the same, only with a bit more umph.

Bella is still in love with Edward and he is still in love with her. Despite his excessive old age and gloomy persona, she is crazy for him. So when he has to leave after a freak accident (one of the Cullen’s attacks Bella after a paper cut gone wrong) everything goes bad. This demolishes Edward to the point where he feels obligated to leave to keep Bella safe. When he does finally leave, Bella turns to a life of moaning and recklessness. After months of depression she decides to turn to her old friend Jacob (Taylor Lautner), the new love interest. There’s just one minor problem: he happens to be a vampire-hating werewolf.

The set-up of Bella and Edward torn apart is done rather quickly, and then the other non-involving love story starts. The relationship between Jacob and Bella replicates her relationship with Edward. The same conflict is present: the guy’s different and feels conflicted. There’s plenty of back and forth between them and none of it works. The lack of chemistry and genuine involvement with these love triangles is almost uncanny. Edward is practically non-apparent except for a few useless spirit-like sequences. He’s more of a footnote with no genuine involvement with the overall story, he just supplies Bella with her motives.  The real focus is Bella’s downfall of not having Edward around, there’s plenty of very (unintentional) misogynistic undertones spreaded throughout the film.

Kristen Stewart proved herself as a strong actor in this year’s excellent Adventureland, but here she’s completely wasted. Some of the blame lies in the Bella character; she’s a terrible protagonist. She’s moronic for one, isn’t compelling and is completely unlikable, unable to function without having a man to rely on. Most of the film she’s stuck to looking sad or to acting continuously whiny. There’s nothing particularly interesting or involving about her. Robert Pattinson on the other hand actually fares better this time around. The cheesy slow motion model scenes certainly aren’t flattering on an acting level, but he handles all the quieter moments in a respectable fashion. The rest of cast including Ashley Greene, Anna Kendrick, and a creepy Dakota Fanning are the true highlights but are unfortunately underused.

Many of the film’s problems stem from director Chris Weitz. He paints the film with a visually dull aesthetic and his framing and camerawork choices are also quite questionable. The film is shot in a bland, formulaic manor with choppy action sequences and a horribly overdramatic use of slow motion. The first action sequence including the werewolves is completely incomprehensible. Weitz shoots plenty of the action in a boxed-in manor, employing far too many close-ups and jarring jump cuts. It also doesn’t help that a few of the CG shots feel unfinished and cartoonish. There’s also the issue of Weitz’s unrelenting use of montages. There all heavy handed, cheesy, and unnecessary.

There is potential in this franchise still (the concept remains interesting) but so far all of its ideas have gone to waste. Every creative attempt has been underwhelming and mediocre. There’s a few redeemable moments here and there (a la the juicy, if sparse, supporting roles) but nothing can save New Moon from the awful characters, hamfisted dialog and the sluggish pacing of an already slim plot.

3.5 out of 10

What did you think of The Twilight Saga: New Moon?

Director Chris Weitz, the slightly less-accomplished half of the Weitz brothers (who came on to the scene with American Pie), has decided to call it quits, right after he makes a Bicycle Thief-inspired script titled The Gardener. [Film School Rejects] This is certainly sad news. After all, this guy co-directed About a Boy with his brother, both of their best films and one of the better films of the decade.

Weitz is quoted as saying he intended The Golden Compass to be “his masterpiece,” and that the studio took it away from him in post-production, something that seems entirely plausible considering the unevenness of the film, which dissapointed critically and financially.

Weitz went on: “You know, it sounds ridiculous, but I’d really like to be a better surfer…I’d like to learn to speak Spanish fluently; I’d like to travel around, live in Italy; I’d like to learn kung fu… It’s nice to make movies, but it’s also really hard.”

A better surfer? Welp, sounds good. No, but seriously, it’s hard not to, at least on some level, understand what the guy is saying. After making two studio-important films in a row and most likely losing a considerable amount of the control he was once given as director, it would get under anyone’s skin. So it does make sense his intended final film will be a smaller, more personal film. One would imagine the success of New Moon will allow him the resources to get the film made. And then Weitz wants to read books (“I’d really like to read some books.”)

Well, I’d really like to watch some movies, so I’ll look forward to The Gardener.

What do you think of this news?