One can see how Bullet to the Head, the new action film starring Sylvester Stallone, seemed a worthwhile property. Adapted from a graphic novel, this lean, mean procedural sports a bombastic style and a premise that’s almost elegant in its simplicity. After hitman Jimmy Bobo (Stallone) watches his partner die at the hands of a mercenary named Keegan (Jason Momoa), he joins forces with a cop (Sung Kang) to the unspool a web of corruption that started the mess. That it is not particularly funny or exciting or creative marks the failure of a reliable hook.

Directed by Walter Hill, it’s fairly cut and dry. Hill was once the go-to hard-knocks auteur for something like this. The man built his name on films like Hard Times (featuring a weathered Charles Bronson) and The Driver (if you liked Drive, watch this and see why), and though his return is welcome, it’s a shame its for this relative drivel.

The last feature film Hill provided was the far-superior B-movie actioner Undisputed way back in 2002. Starring Wesley Snipes and Ving Rhames, it’s the kind of picture that plays like gangbusters on pay cable. Perhaps, in time, Bullet to the Head will find a life their as well. Stallone is game, of course, providing the same confident swag he’s had since the 70s. Kang, as his buddy-cop partner, is completely and utterly useless in the role, the necessity of his presence constantly coming into question.

The attendance of every other player is strictly on a need-to-be-there basis. The one stand-out – and this is high praise – is Christian Slater, who appears for a few minutes in the second act to chew some scenery before he gets a bit of ammunition to the crown. We’re sad to see him go, because at least he was having a good time next to Sly.

To an extent, Momoa picks up the mantle, driving the film’s most exciting, visually interesting scene: a climactic axe fight in a power plant. Mostly brawn with a tad bit of charm, Momoa certainly makes a case for himself as a potential action star, wielding his weapon with menacing glee. Hill is clearly having fun directing this violent battle, but it is far too little far too late.

Even still, it is commendable that Stallone is still producing so steadily, playing reliably to his fan base. That this action film is no better, or worse, than any of his other action films should not be a surprise. In short, the one-trick pony of this particular property is its unabashed use of nostalgia. Bullet to the Head wants to remind you of all those bad 80s action films you finally came around to liking. The question is, how long will it take you to like Bullet to the Head?

Bullet to the Head is now in wide release.

Grade: C-

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