Recently, our very own TFS editor Jordan reviewed Clint Eastwood’s latest directorial dud, Hereafter. Now our friends at the First Showing have drawn our attention to the film’s newly released poster, and it could be cause for alarm.
Why? You might wonder. It’s just a blue poster with some bad Photo-shopped effects, right?
Look at Damon – HE’S LOOKING AT YOU!
We’ve all seen this look before. And look at where it got us:
None of us felt good about these the morning after. Sometimes right after. It’s okay. We’ve all been there.
See! He’s funny, sexy, exciting, lovable. Like he is here. Like we wish he always could be…
To help sidestep such filmic mishaps in the future, I’ve made up a diddy for you to commit to memory : (best if sung with Pirate accent)
If Damon’s eyes be aslant, then the movie will enchant, but if his eyes be straight and true, a bomb is what’s in store for you!
Like most shanties, it is not a fool-proof system:
But I hope it will help.
Does Kristy’s theory hold up for your favorite Damon movie? Are you looking forward to the Hereafter despite Damon’s dead-on stare?
One of the most highly anticipated films of the Cannes Film Festivals was unveiled this morning to a divisive response, Nicolas Winding Refn‘s Only God Forgives. As we said in our review, “set amidst an underground Muay Thai boxing club and glowing with hellish red lights from countless brothels, the mood and style is more [...]
With this year’s Cannes Film Festival halfway done, one of the clear highlights is Coens‘ 1960′s-set folk music tale Inside Llewyn Davis. Profiling a down on his luck musician (Oscar Isaac), whose natural talent indicates he is destined for success, the film is a vivid portrait of what it means to be a starving artist. In [...]
Welcome to the latest episode of our official podcast, The Film Stage Show. This week, staff writer Danny King, associate editor Nick Newman and I review J.J. Abram‘s new entry in his flagship franchise, Star Trek Into Darkness. Before that, though, we run down our top 3 most-anticipated films of the Cannes Film Festival. Finally, we take a look at the [...]
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