Like it or not — if your answer is the former, shut the door and have a seat — Fifty Shades of Grey is coming to (on?) your multiplex, and two smart people are making it happen. Those folks, in case you didn’t click the carefully-placed link, are producers Dana Brunetti and Michael De Luca (The Social Network), both of whom, according to THR, have already narrowed down the screenwriter race to four candidates.

Before we get down to telling you “who” they are, let me tell you who they are: Veena Sud, Dan Fogelman, Kelly Marcel, and Karen Croner. The first of those, she being the most prolific, was behind The Killing, an AMC investigation drama which earned scorn for bad writing and the creator’s own arrogance. It’s a poor choice, even when we’re talking about Fifty Shades of Grey.

Moving on, we have the screenwriter of Cars 2, Tangled, and Bolt — certainly not a conventional option. (Maybe I really missed something radical by missing out on Crazy, Stupid, Love.) The subsequent option was, most recently, behind Admission, which Paul Rudd and Tina Fey will lead for Paul Weitz. Again, a weird pick. The final contender, meanwhile, was responsible for Saving Mr. Banks, a forthcoming family dramedy about Walt Disney’s attempts in obtaining the rights to Mary Poppins.

Man, they are not looking at the people I’d expect. Better (most) of them than Bret Easton Ellis, anyway.

Are you hoping to see any of these names become attached to Shades?